There are only three guarantees in life. Death, Taxes, and Cyclists bitching about the UCI. It’s like everybody needs an enemy and the body tasked with protecting our sport is THAT enemy. Between the jabs from YouTube cycling talking heads to the jokes about the UCI just banning bikes outright. They sit quietly knowing they are the adult in the room and they are absolutely correct.

Has anybody else noticed when a cycling company comes out with a ridiculously looking helmet (I.E. POC…. why is it always POC? Didn’t they make the condom TT helmets too?)No matter how functional it is, it’s written off by the general public. It’s this line of thinking that makes the UCI an important institution for cycling.

Let’s look at NASCAR. Why? Because I’m originally from the south and sometimes it just kinda comes out of me…

NASCAR was started by rum runners in highly modified cars running from the police during the prohibition days. When not running illegal spirits through farm roads they would race each other on these same roads to not only test their car and learn how to outrun the cops but also for bragging rights…. they were racing. Now let’s fast forward to today where NASCAR is more popular than ever. From the days of buying a car from the lot and souping it up to be able to outrun Johnny Law, race cars are now shells of what they used to be. Seriously… they are plastic shells on top of customer chassis with motors you can’t buy from any dealership and the entire drivetrain of an F-15.

You expect me to believe a Chevrolet Lumina is going 200 mph? Take a seat Dick Trickle… none of that is happening.

So let’s take a look at the reality you’re wanting without the UCI.

The Ghost of UCI present… The number one narrative of UCI haters and just cycling curmudgeons is the fact that the cycling industry is ripping off the entire world by charging huge amounts for top-of-the-line bicycles. tEn tHoUsAnD iS tOo MuCh DoLlArS fOr BikE! How much do you think it would be if the UCI just let bike manufacturers go HAM? What turbocharging wind-catching fins are we going to see on bike frames? And how much would they be? The Bianchi Oltre RC(?) came out with the aero fins on the front of the head tube everybody lost their shit on how ugly they are then when the UCI banned them the same people lost their shit about the UCI banning them. Do you want to have what the world tour riders have? You’re wearing a $800 helmet that makes you look like a complete idiot. The pros are already wearing multiple thousands of dollars of tailored skinsuits that the common man will never own. But as of right now you can still walk into a store and purchase a bike that is on paper better than the bikes that one all three grand tours last year. That is because the UCI has limited unnecessary and radical advancements in the equipment used in the peloton. Bikes are still coming out looking like mechanical street bikes (Kawasaki, Suzuki etc.) but they still resemble a bicycle and it’s one that you can purchase at your local bike shop. In conclusion on this subject, you can see what I’m talking about with the first Cervelo bike ever made. This is what you’re wanting folks:

Ghost Of UCI Future... Let’s travel ahead 15 or 20 years from now. We killed the UCI in 2024, for the purpose of this narrative, and we are going to take a look at what we would have. Bike manufacturers are now allowed to “release the beast”. They can throw all the rules and the design manuals out the window. You won’t be buying a bicycle you will be purchasing a machine. The $5,000-$10,000 for a top-of-the-line bicycle will be a rounding error on your new bicycle loan. Parts for the bicycles will be even MORE proprietary than we have now. Smaller bike companies are now dead because they couldn’t compete with the R&D of the big named bike brands… and nobody wants a slower bike.

What does this mean for your local bike shop? What would this mean for your local racing community? how would you feel coming up to the start line knowing you’re gonna lose because of the other bikes on the line. You can say that happens now but you just have weak legs.

To wrap up this rant the UCI is protecting us from ourselves and the very thing the cycling community whines about is the thing that the UCI is protecting us from.

So thank UCI daddy for doing what they do and accept our rule making overlords.

Designed by Kendall Toerner